A few weeks ago when I found out I was on bed rest I was really bummed. Initially we were very worried about the baby and I, but after discovering that we were both in very good health, and that the bed rest was more of a precaution since it seemed like I was going into labor every day, then I became kind of annoyed. Obviously not with the doctor or the baby or anything, just with the situation. It was a terrible feeling to feel so helpless.
I laid or sat on the couch and tried not to feel frustrated that there was nothing that I could do. I couldn’t do anything to stop the contractions, or ensure that the baby was big enough or far enough along when she was delivered other than just sit.
I tried not to think about the unfinished nursery or other projects that I had thought I still had time to finish before baby arrived. I had been pacing myself well, even mapping out specific steps for the last 2 weeks of April and first week of May so that all of the baby “projects” were finished before my 36th week of pregnancy. Little did I know that I would have less than 36 weeks to wrap everything up.
I noticed that Chris tidied up the house differently than I used to throughout the day. (Though he may argue that I didn’t tidy during the day given the state it is sometimes in when he gets home.) But really, I couldn’t impose my own rules on him when he was already doing so much. Things like, I can deal with toys on the floor while Jayce is still awake and in play mode, but I cannot deal with clutter and crumbs on the kitchen table. Don’t ask me why, but even when the other surfaces are not clean, I feel a sense of calm when that table is clean, so I used to clear it regularly throughout the day. But instead, I made myself ignore the inevitable clutter that came from 3 people being in the house all day every day.
But then I went to the hospital and was there for 6 out of 7 days in a row. And when I came home, I discovered that my perspective on the couch, and to do lists, and clutter had changed.
Now, I am just so happy to have this little guy around me all day again. It’s frustrating to not be able to do much with him, particularly when he is calling for me to come help him with something, wants me to play with something that I can’t, or is pushing Chris’ patience to the limit and I normally would step in, but now I can’t.
But luckily I can still snuggle with him on the couch. We can still watch movies together, he can still tell me about everything that’s going on around him, and there are a few games and things he can sit and do with me on the couch. Chris brings him into bed in the morning and we all snuggle and giggle together. And since I’m back home with my camera nearby, I can still annoy him by taking his picture all of the time.
It had been a crazy few weeks with me in the hospital, Jayce with a friend or sitter while Chris ran back and forth between each of us and work. So now, even though this bed rest isn’t a perfect situation, I’m just so glad to have my family all together again.