Michael spent a week in the hospital at the end of December upon arriving in cardiac failure, among other things. I will write about that at another time, but not today, as that sort of thing takes a while to wade through mentally, and will certainly take some time to write out.
Today I’m writing about when we brought him home.It turns out that bringing home a baby from the hospital who was sick brings on similar emotions and responses as bringing home a brand new baby, at least for me. You spend the first few days almost constantly holding him, checking on him, and staring at him.
Then you spend the next few days (or so) with almost constant photo documentation. No detail is too small. Actually those very small things are some of the ones that you’ll obsess over getting pictures of.
Of course there are differences to bringing home a one month old instead of a newborn as well, but they are mostly sweet. He is more awake than before, and you really appreciate it since you lost a few days in his sweet gaze in those hospital days.Now he makes eye contact, smiles, coos, and sweetly chats with you and the fan. He’s still small and young enough to curl up in that newborn way on your chest, but just old enough to interact and make your heart (and eyes) well up.
And you don’t take it for granted. You have stopped taking everything for granted and feel like you will never take anything for granted anymore. As for how Michael is doing since we brought him home, he’s been great. So great!! We’ve had no concerns. He’s eating well, sleeping well, breathing well, and has had no problems. His check up appointments with his cardiologist these past few weeks have been perfect.
Everything looks and sounds just right, and we’ve been able to resume regular normal everyday life, which feels so strange after having come so close to losing him. Apparently young babies can be incredibly resilient. Several doctors told us how often they see little ones who take a quick turn for the worse, and then as soon as they took a turn for the better they just bounce right back! We are so so thankful and not unaware that we are some of the lucky ones.And it doesn’t hurt anything that Michael is just such a sweet baby! I know he’s a cutie but it’s so much more. When I’m walking with him from one room to another, he pushes against my chest and leans back so that he can see my face, and then smiles and coos at me. Have you ever heard of anything so precious? He is a gem.I had promised myself that this would be a post with pictures and no blubbering, but I just can’t help myself. My thoughts are drenched in thankfulness that he pulled through, that we had such good care, that’s he’s doing well, and that he is in my arms.Each of these days since the hospital are healing for us. Normal baby things and a calm daily routine dull the pain of that nightmare, and suddenly everything seems manageable and hopeful in comparison.