This past Wednesday was Jayce’s first day of school. He is in Year 2 now, in the Otter class.
He was perfectly happy to go back to school again this year. There was no real heightened excitement in one direction or the other: no bursting at the seams to get out the door, but no reservedness or nervous energy. It was all just fine. It was time for school and that was that. We headed out to the back yard for the customary before-school pics…
and then my children posed for a series of photos that are not unlike two cats watching the same fly buzz around a window frame. Even though I took these pictures, I have no idea what the kids were watching. But it does make me laugh that even though Jayce and Hannah do not look like one another in an obvious way (like, for example, the way that Jayce and I look basically exactly alike), when they are standing for a picture they suddenly look like a little set. Both with the same sly grin, squinty eyes, round cheeks, and when Hannah’s hair is back even their ears look the same. These two.
With Jayce’s first day of school came my annual state of semi-panic, right on time. This year I’ve been thinking a lot about how much further Jayce is in his education as a result of our move to London. Though this is good in some ways, it also makes me feel guilty. He was in school full time as a 4 year old, basically receiving the equivalent of a Kindergarden and some 1st grade education, and halfway through the school year was able to read. I worry sometimes that this has pushed the “growing up too fast” thing on him in a way that I cannot reverse, and I cannot get back. Should I have kept him home longer with me? Should I have sought out something else? Should we have never moved to London in the first place?
The answers to all of these questions are no, no, and absolutely not. I know that my worries are mostly just “first day of school mom nerves.” I am comparing our reality with a fake reality, where maybe some things would have been better, but some may have been worse and there are just so many ways to qualify which things are more important.
Also I need to remind myself that, for the most part, I’m comparing Jayce’s 6 year old reality to my own 6 year reality, which was a few decades ago. It is very possible that many things have changed in the past 20+ years and school curriculum is one of them. Maybe the pressures of school have nothing to do with the school or country he’s in, but are just the normal expectation of today’s 6 year olds.
Also, it’s a mom’s job to worry, right? And it’s a dad’s job to calm her down. So luckily we covered all of our bases.
The first day came and went and all was fine and happy. I’m so proud of my big adaptable boy.
Now only 2 weeks until my little one goes. Heaven help me.